on Wednesday the year 5 and year 6 went on the bus to orienteering i went with Patrick most people went up the hill. flag 15 is close to flag 20 for kids that are going next year or the year after that as yr you see a high hill with grey gravel you can you back or you can go up my buddy Patrick went up it a bit then went down because he thought there was nothing up there and then went down there was a lot of horse poo along the way not that its the star of the story then after climbing up a steep hill we got to a fence i used the style but Patrick said no there's Poison i read the warning it said there are poison carcasses around do not let your dog go near the dead body i looked around there was no dead body near the style i was thinking are you crazy read the warning board at the end of the orienteering we all went back to class and that's all for now do you like my voice imprison.
by peter
Dear Peter,
ReplyDeleteYou have some interest observations in your story - such as the part about the poison signs, and how people went different ways. Your next step is to try and find the places to put some full stops so that it breaks your work into sentences - you can ask me for help if you are not sure. I enjoy your stories and would love for you to do some more posts on our class blog.