on tusday the 25th of june/tusday i went orienteering with the yr 6’s. on the bus i talked with my friends. when i got off the bus i got a map of the waikanae park then i went to a huge line so i went to the end of it when it was our turn to get our time writen on our sheet oh and did i mention that i have a partner anton me and him are best friends any way lets get back to the report as i was saying when we got our starting time mrs brown said.ON YOUR MARKS GET SET....GO!!! me and anton rushed like the flash of lightning.then the jorney begain then we came to a cliper that had number 20on it so we cliped our sheets and ran to the next cliper witch was number 17 so we did what we did with number 20 we cliped it. orienteering is fun said my friend nick.when every one was done we both went to get our finshing time.we had a nice drink of cold water out of our drink bottles then we had to go on the bus again. when we got back to school we all had our lunch and then we all shouted orienteering is very very fun!!!! we all shouted. then we all gigled. the end.(:
Thursday 27 June 2013
on tusday the 25th of june/tusday i went orienteering with the yr 6’s. on the bus i talked with my friends. when i got off the bus i got a map of the waikanae park then i went to a huge line so i went to the end of it when it was our turn to get our time writen on our sheet oh and did i mention that i have a partner anton me and him are best friends any way lets get back to the report as i was saying when we got our starting time mrs brown said.ON YOUR MARKS GET SET....GO!!! me and anton rushed like the flash of lightning.then the jorney begain then we came to a cliper that had number 20on it so we cliped our sheets and ran to the next cliper witch was number 17 so we did what we did with number 20 we cliped it. orienteering is fun said my friend nick.when every one was done we both went to get our finshing time.we had a nice drink of cold water out of our drink bottles then we had to go on the bus again. when we got back to school we all had our lunch and then we all shouted orienteering is very very fun!!!! we all shouted. then we all gigled. the end.(:
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Dear Aiden,
ReplyDeleteYou have good content in your writing with some good detail to add interest. Remember however that a REPORT doesn't use "I" or "we" unless you are quoting what someone else has said. If you use I and we then you are putting yourself into the story which makes it a recount and not a report.
I like your cool heading.